It hasn’t quite been a year since I last blogged. And here I am on the first day of the last month of Winter, listening to the whirr of ducted heating, the sound of birds scereching far beyond the window and noticing how everything has changed. Well, most things have changed.
I still love Pete. That is a constant. And ironically it is the constant that has propelled me through so much change.
Since I last blogged I’ve moved towns, changed jobs, gotten married, honeymooned in the US and now the icing on our big, fat delicious chocolate cake… we are expecting our first baby. Of course the platter upon which the cake sits is that we will probably be on a humble budget forever! But wedded bliss and the expectation of the coming months with our little fellow due to join us in October puts things in perspective.
Its not all icing of course, and the first three months of “expectation” brought with it horrible morning sickness. But with only mere months to go, we are on the home stretch and on Friday I hung up my suit jacket for a while so that I could rest and enjoy, wholeheartedly, the pleasure of expectation. I have a dozen projects that I want to get done before the baby arrives, from making bibs and knitting jumpers to decorating the nursery with cute decal… quite separate to the “finish unpacking” note that has been on my to do list since we moved.
We bought an airconditioner for the nursery on Sunday and my work colleagues gave me a “Grobag Egg” which measures room temperature and glows lots of different colours depending on whether or not the room is too cold or too warm. Oh, and a bottle of Moet for us to down, and I fully intend to drink half the bottle when that magic moment comes!
Will I be a good mother? Will I accidentally drop the baby? Will the three of us all fall in love? Will I survive 12 diapers a day? Will I find the discipline to write again?
Baby is giving me a good little kick right now, and it is assuring. Yes, I love our little one even now and the only prayer I actually care to get answered is that they arrive safe and well.
Here I am in “wedded bliss” (which is blissful), and at the threshold of mommyhood I know one simple thing , if nothing else, as I sip the last of my morning coffee…
Everything is going to be okay.
And this morning, if I want to go back to bed and sleep another hour and forget the long list of errands, I have drafted, I can.